It has been a moderately successful life for him. After retirement from a middle-rung officers’ cadre, he owns a decent house with couple of cars. He and his wife visit their children – settled abroad – every year. They enjoy good health: no blood pressure, no heart problem, no dementia, and no arthritis. He is self- reliant: financially, emotionally, and socially. They are a successful couple, blessed by God.
2. Epitaph as planned
Here lies an individual, who lived within his own means and lived a moral life. He was a normal, imperfect person, who could not live up to his wife’s expectations, who believed: “He was untidy, inefficient, and was mama’s boy, who gave equal importance to parents and the spouse.” He had no desires, and didn’t covet anything. He never understood the women’s psyche for gifts, gold and diamonds.
He was frugal, who spent money to buy functional utility-items, and believed in eating to live. He lived a spiritual life but didn’t go regularly to religious shrines. He was grateful to God for his family members – in alphabetical order – aunties, brother, children, cousins, grandchildren, in-laws, parents, sister, uncles, and wife. They are/were good human beings, who sacrificed their time and money for him. They loved him.
His wife was frugal too, not in money matters, but in hugging him, for he made some mistake daily, throughout his life which spoiled her mood. She struck with him, in spite of his imperfections, as she believed a tested and tried husband is more acceptable, even with his irritating traits than to tread in an unknown territory. God bless him and let him return to the world next time, a wiser and saner person. Amen!
3. Analysis. We all, have expectations, but only from our near and dear ones. We expect from our friends and close relatives. Often our expectations don’t materialise and we are hurt – feel betrayed and withdraw ourselves from relations, friends and society. This is no solution.
4. The solution:
(a) Remember we are all imperfect.
(b) Love your spouse, relatives – own and spouse’s, and friends, as they are. Who are you to insist on getting them tailor-made to suit your temperament?
(c) It is better to forget the past hurts and be happy than remember and be sad throughout the life.
(d) Inculcate, and imbibe the Godly traits: sacrifice, humility, courage, kindness, fearlessness, and tolerance.
(d) Avoid devilish traits: greed, jealousy, hatred, revenge, and anger.
(e) Be a good human being. Don’t divide families: own family and in-laws. Don’t divide humanity and play divisive politics, based on religion, nations/countries, gender, and colour. Patriotism is an unhealthy concept as it teaches us: “My country is best, because I am born in it”.