In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr Stephen R. Covey discusses the importance of Social and Emotional renewal as intertwined together, because our emotional life is primarily based upon our social interactions with others, but unlike the other Dimensions of Renewal, this one can be incorporated into our everyday lives, and doesn’t require specific time dedicated to this activity.
In this article I want to share with you some ways you can practise, and achieve, any measure of social and emotional renewal in your life, and how we keep oneself internally secure.
The Social and Emotional Dimension of Renewal
The essence of the Social and Emotional Dimension of Renewal comes from our sense of inner security, of who we are, of our core values, and of living a life of integrity and value and can, according to Dr Stephen R. Covey can be expressed through the following concepts:
The 7 Habits introduces a concept called Empathic Listening – which is described listening first so that you understand the others’ point of view first, before trying to explain your point of view to them.
By practising empathic listening with your colleagues, family, and friends;and when you are able to explain their point of view as well as they can – only then should you begin trying to explain your point of view so that they understand it as well as you do.
When you both understand one another, you open the door to creative cooperation.
While two people hold disparate opinions or different views on the same subject, it’s very hard to cooperate in a way in which both parties win. Typically one or the other will concede and “settle” for a portion of what they wanted.
By working together, and both understanding both sides of the point at hand, it’s possible to seek solutions where both sides fully benefit; often in ways that go beyond anything they have expected to get at the beginning.
Interpersonal Leadership is what Covey desribes as Think Win-Win – i.e. there are always solutions where all parties get what they want, or get something better. Interpersonal Leadership relies on you having an Abundancy Mindset – not worrying there isn’t enough to go around, and realizing both sides can win.
Having this Abundancy Mindset allows you to cooperate in a more creative way – to not give-in, to not settle, to seek for the best result for both parties. Encourage the other party to work with you.
Think Win-Win is kind of the opposite of Dog-Eat-Dog, it’s not about who comes out on top, it’s about both of us coming out on top.
“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”
~Goethe, quoted in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People